I can’t even tell you the countless times I have comforted a gurlfriend that finds herself distraught over something their “man” did to them or a fight they had. Shoootttt, I myself have cried over many men; replayed situations over in my head about how I could of went about something differently so the relationship wouldn’t be tragically tarnished. Now that I look back, I realize how stupid I was. And as for my gurlfriends, they were just caught under a guys spell–it happens to the best of us.
But why do we allow ourselves to get so caught up in a man that is no good for us, so much so, that we are afraid to let them go?
I believe it is due to the fact that we are conditioned at a very young age that securing a man should be one of our main goals in life. Making us relationship-oriented beings that place a high value on nurturing our relationships, with our significant other at the top of the list. For this reason, we fear being alone, so we tend to stay in unfulfilling relationships.
This is absolute bullsh*t because trust and believe me when I say, that man you are with is not the cream-of-the-crop of all men. There are plenty more fish in the sea, and I feel like as women we often forget this fact and tend to hold on to failing relationships longer than we should.
Gurl, you hold all the power in the relationship, and don’t let that power go out of insecurities or fear of the unknown. If this guy doesn’t know your worth, let him go because there is a guy out there that will love and appreciate you the way you want them to. Remember you’re a f*cking catch, and if they don’t recognize that from the jump then they aren’t worth your time, effort, or love. Never settle.
Once you do this for yourself, gurl your glow up is about to be life changing. I saw this first hand with my younger sister. She was dating a guy for almost 4 years, that last year they were dating he moved across country due to his job and my sister was seriously planning on moving with him when she graduated college the next year. I think it was the long distance that put additional strain on their relationship and she made the decision to end the relationship. When she finally told me about the break up, I thought it was a little sudden and asked her, “why now?” She simply stated, “because I deserve better.”
I was blown away by her ability to see her value and know what she wants out of her relationship at such a young age. I was proud of her because it is a hard decision to make to throw away all of the time you invested in someone but she has since blossomed so beautifully.
Of course there are times when she feels lonely but I am always there to remind her of all the accomplishments she has made since then and urge her to find comfort in solace and enjoy her endless “me” time. However, when you get to the point where you are truly comfortable and happy being single, the right person will come along wanting to contribute to your growth.
With all of that said, I now challenge you to be that “sister” to friend in need of an encouraging reminder of her value to help her find peace in singleness and keep fishing.